Letter from a Coed. student to her parents...)
Dear Mum and Dad,
Since I left home for boarding school, I’ve not thought of writing to you and I must say I feel bad that I completely forgot about it till now. To be honest I feel ashamed, not just for not writing sooner but more for the things I’m about to share with you. I don’t know how you will react to what I will share in the following paragraphs but I do know that it’s much easier for me to write them rather than tell you in person. Please before you read any further, I’ll like you to sit down because it’s really going to be heavy. Are you seated now? Good!
It took me a while to muster the courage to pen these down. It’s really difficult for me to open up about my experiences but I need to. So here goes… Ever since I got to college, I’ve been doing really well. It took me a while to get used to the environment. Everything has been alright up until recently… Our dormitory caught fire one day and I had to jump out of the window. I ended up with a concussion and a brain fracture, but thank God that it’s healed now. I spent only two days in the hospital. I was really lucky since my jump was witnessed by an attendant at a gas station near my dorm. He’s the one who called the fire department and an ambulance.
The truth is that this attendant wasn’t a stranger to me. I actually met him about a week before. He was really nice to me and he’s really cute too; his name is Mike. I’ve never really gotten attention from a guy before, especially since I was indoors from childhood till college. It was a nice feeling. About two weeks before I met him, I heard my classmates raving about Valentine's day and how they will receive gifts from their boyfriends. I got really sad as I didn’t have a boyfriend. None of the guys at school seemed to show any interest in me. So when Mike asked me to be his Valentine, I was so thrilled. He was so soft spoken that just hearing his voice gave me chills. On that fateful Valentine's Day, he bought me chocolates, flowers, and a really beautiful card. I was on top of the world. Since our dorm caught fire, I had no place to stay. Mike was kind enough to let me share his apartment. Because of how he treated me, I was eager to be with him, so I accepted. His home is quite cozy and he’s a nice guy. We’ve fallen madly in love with each other and we’re planning to get married. It’s true that we’ve not yet set a date but it will probably be before my pregnancy starts showing.
I guess what I mean is, I’m pregnant mum and dad, and I’ve been scared to tell you. However, I know you’ve always wanted grandchildren and I know you’ll love and accept this child. Things were going really well until the day when Mike got fired from his job. My life suddenly became sour and Mike started blaming me for all what was happening. He eventually abandoned me with the pregnancy. By then I was showing and I didn’t want my classmates to know. As a result, I stopped going to school. What’s even worse is that I later learned that Mike is HIV positive. I got myself tested and it turns out that I am positive too. Right now, I’m stranded and I really don’t know what to do.
I’m sure you must think I’m a huge disappointment. I know I am. When I think about it, I really wish you had educated me about sex and the dangers such as teenage pregnancies, STDs and all what not. I asked you both on several occasions to tell me about them but you shut me down. I wish you had also given me some freedom when I was back home. If I had known these, it wouldn’t have happened so technically you’re to blame for this as well. Anyway, I really need your help.
Now I’m sure that you’re really pissed off. Please before you do something crazy like burn the letter, I just want you to know that … actually I’m not pregnant. There was never a fire in my dorm. I didn’t have any concussion and I never met any guy named Mike. However, I failed Mathematics and Chemistry. I got “F”s in both of them and I needed you to see these scores in their proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
Lucy.
If you were one of Lucy’s parents, how would you have felt on reading this letter? Devastated I’m sure and not by the “F”s but by all what was shared before. In fact you’ll be relieved that she only had 2 “F”s! The bad grades are nothing in comparison to the pregnancy and HIV. Her parents were definitely relieved after reading the end. One would say that Lucy is an excellent Psychologist based on her letter. However, let’s consider for a minute that what she shared was true. There’s a lot to unpack from there in terms of lessons for us.
1. Don’t sell yourself short
It’s very common these days for girls to spread their legs just because some guy spent a little on them. That tends to happen on Valentine's Day with the hype and pressure to feel loved. From the letter, Lucy agrees to give herself to Mike simply because he showed her some attention and bought her gifts. While it’s nice for a guy to do these things, it’s not a reason for you to just let him have his way. Don’t be excited over chocolates, shawarma, ice cream, chicken, and what have you. You’re worth much more than these. Countless babies have been conceived during that period and for what? Chocolate and ice cream!?? This probably sounds old school, but you shouldn’t engage in sexual activities unless you’re married. The moment you start having sex before marriage, you’ve already ruined the relationship.
2. Invest time in Sex Education
This is an important part of Education that is often neglected by parents mostly because people feel awkward talking about sex to their kids. Little do they know the negative effects of that neglect. As a parent you need to educate your kids about sex and the dangers around it especially as a teenager. If you don’t talk to your kids about sex, others will talk to them about it and only God knows what they’ll learn from that. There are teenage pregnancies that could’ve been avoided if only parents had educated their kids properly about this. Once your kids become teens, do yourself a favor and educate them about sex before it’s too late.
3. Take Responsibility for your actions
Towards the end of her letter, Lucy starts blaming her parents for her predicament. While it’s true that her parents have a part to play in it, she made those choices. No one forced her to into it. The moment you blame someone for your mistakes, you transfer your power to them. Consequently, you won’t be able to effect the changes you need. It is only when you own up to your mistakes that you will have the power to deal with them.
We hope you were enriched by this piece. Do well to share with your friends and family. Such knowledge is pertinent especially in this Valentine's season. Don’t get too excited by the hype and do something that you’ll regret for the rest of your life. Be careful as you enjoy Valentine's day.
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